Strolling around with a camera in your hand. Walking down to the local watering hole. Immersing yourself in a language exchange. Heading to a “Meetup” activity.
These are just some of the ways you can plunge into the people, places and culture of a new destination. But these options engage the mind. They call on your sense of adventure and curiosity.
What about your hormones? Dating cross-culturally, in a new place, is its own adventure and experience that is completely unparalleled. Some are afraid of getting too emotionally involved while others worry about the reliability of a “stranger”.
Dating abroad is like having your senses dulled through inebriation before things actually go bad: You feel warm, cozy, cared for, your inhibitions are lowered because you’re in a different country and you think partying in the desert with your friends without a map and only one water bottle is a great idea.
Mark Manson, author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck”, lays the blame at the feet novelty and mystery of “foreign women”. And if you look at it on the surface, it makes sense: As a traveler, you crave the unknown and the new. And if it comes in the form of the opposite sex, how could you resist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEEyXE7bGgY
Dating cross-culturally, while traveling, is one of the best ways to get to know a country inside-out because, at the end of the day, it’s people who make a place and culture. And, with the explosion of online dating through apps or on sites like Badults, your chances of meeting someone in a new country just tripled, my friend.
But it’s a thin line. You don’t want to be a part of breaking the customs or cultural appropriation. Chances are, there are very specific dating customs for the country you’re headed to — and don’t make the mistake of thinking this is only true of Eastern nations. There are plenty of “traditions” and expectations while dating in Western countries as well.
1. In the Land of the Rising Sun
As you might expect, dating in Japan has one objective (officially) and one objective only: marriage. Casual dating is not really openly accepted and most individuals are a lot older.
However, there are several instances of “puppy love” and interracial and intercultural dating. It’s respectful to keep PDA to a minimum if you’re out and about. Japanese family members are not as involved with their kids’ love lives as, say, Chinese family members might be.
There is also a tradition where, on Valentine’s Day, women purchase chocolates for their lovers and, exactly one month later, they celebrate “White Day”, where men buy their women white chocolates to express the mutual attraction.
The only catch is that it doesn’t actually stop at chocolates. Your gifts must go above and beyond – both, in cost and creativity.
2. Bagging the Ladies
In many Balkan countries as well as in many Roman villages and communities, it’s common practice to snatch the “woman” or bride-to-be, put her in a sack and deliver her to the groom’s house.
This is usually done in jest, as a funny tradition, by the groom’s friends, who celebrate the custom as just one more during a wedding party.
3. The South Korean Way
There are two things at play in the dating lives of South Koreans: space and gender. On the one hand, it’s perfectly acceptable and actually preferred that men not only initiate the courtship but also pepper her with an endless number of texts, being as forward and explicit as necessary to get her to agree to a date.
On the other hand, the city is overcrowded and crammed by inhabitants. And openly dating without a commitment of marriage is still frowned upon. Several young men and women still live with their families so, in this case, there are plenty of “love motels” scattered around the city where lovebirds can (and do!) go to spend quality time together.
4. Do as the French Do
The French, like the Danes, do dating as a group activity. If you’re a North American, this might get you scratching your head — if the French are so sexually forward, why do they need their friends as chaperones?
It actually has nothing to do with prudishness and everything to do with the definition of a relationship in French culture.
Men and women (and same-sex couples) can date one-on-one, keeping their conversations and interactions directed toward one another the whole time they are with friends. But the idea is that they all stick together.
There is no such thing as “dating around” — rather, the French like to call a spade, a spade: you’re in a “relationship”, no matter what that actually means, looks like, or entails, if you date without a group. It’s assumed that you’ve met, like each other and now want to spend together alone.
So if you’re looking to test the waters for the first time, make sure to do it in a group setting, with friends.
5. Down Under Without Labels
The dating customs of Australians might be quite familiar to Britons and North Americans — the attitude is much more relaxed and Aussie’s not only date one-on-one, they can date several people in a week and keep things casual.
6. Bluetooth Tales
In Emirati countries like Dubai or Kuwait, customs are still strict around gender division. While things have become much more relaxed, openly approaching a beautiful woman and asking for a number is a good way to bring the wrath of her family on you.
Instead, creative young lovers have found a novel solution, a workaround that involves technology. They may have restrictive social customs but they also certainly all have smartphones.
Friends, lovers and potential dates communicate with one another through social media or by sending messages of interest via bluetooth devices. It’s not only how you court and communicate, it’s also how you plan a secret meeting at a secret venue after hours. These youth have mastered the art to low-key love.